I understand that you and your children share the same bedroom with your wife. This totally blows my mind. I did hear your explanation that you offered to Vikki abou thow you do not preach indepemdence like she does. I have to wonder if you and you wife make love to each other in the presence of the children while in this bedroom, too. I know what goes on in the bedroom of most couples and do not condone such intimacy in the presence of ANY others.
It seems as if no one in your family has ANY privacy of their own. People are people and come to know themselves by getting to know their own individual preferences.
It seems that you have not taught your children the power of choice. You have only offered your beliefs and accept only such. We were created as individuals and are such. You ought to at least give your kids a chance in teh "real world." hey have not been able to experience anything else. Only one who exoperiences can make a decision that truly fits them.