some thoughts on loneliness

My war horses have been breeding way too often lately-emotional flare ups, losing rationality, as Joe says, sounds very familiar. I try to avoid this, especially around my boy who has such an unstable environment at his other house, but i fail now & then...better than i used to be, for sure, but still...
Also at work, with frustrating special needs kids (and sometimes i think 'special needs' coworkers) my rep has long been made as one who 'blows up', not a rep i'm proud of, and not one I live up to as often anymore...
I truly hope and believe getting back into the Eastern religions, meditating, learning to relax again and rediscover a calm place within me will help, as it has in the past. I've avoided this for years, I dont know why, but I've paid greatly for this avoidance. Finding this site has already helped some, up to me to do the rest now.


  • edited December 1969
    some issues raised in the 2 letters on loneliness. Many times in my life I've dealt with the issue of loneliness vs. being alone. I enjoy being alone, so much so that i've built much of my working life around graveyard shifts and jobs where i'd be by myself. The trade off is you get little recogniton or appreciation on these shifts, and the world is certainly not made for anyone outside the 9-5, m-f work schedule. But I expect little, so thats fine.
    I'm very seldom lonely, except when i'm away from my kid for any length of time. and there's where expectations enter in. My relationship with him is sacred and all important to me, yet i force myself to be realistic about it. He's not my biological child, I have no legal rights over him, and his flaky family could move away overnight, and that'd be that. Then, i'd be lonely, oh my, unto the point of despair. Being aware of this doesnt change it. Am I setting myself up or preparing myself, by thinking about 'worst case scenarios'?
  • edited December 1969
    To realize how impermanent life is helps me knuckle down to live in the moment to moment. When things change I more easily change with them; [chref=65]only then is complete conformity realized.[/chref]

    It sounds like you're approaching life as straight forward as you can. While that is possibly no bed of roses, the alternatives I've witnessed only seem to sow the seeds of even more sorrow.
  • edited December 1969
    where you said you dont cry, Carl. well, there we differ, i do, though I realize the uselessness of this act. and I realize it IS self pity.But if it wasnt for pity partys, i'd never get invited anywhere-LOL-one may cry, but then one must move on and get the work done.
    As far as appraoching life in a straight forwrd way:To use a football analogy, I rush for first down on every possession, but they keep moving the markers!
  • edited December 1969
    whichever way I turn...
  • edited December 1969
    First, Carl.., It seems as if youve found a defense mechanism to deal with change and mishaps in your life. Why not try to have a strong sense of what you want and believe and not be detoured from that because of cercumstances. Try to understanding the experience and use it to grow, dont just keep moving on, youll never learn anything.

    TO Buddy 1... CRYING IS NOT SELF PITY... your thoughts during crying might be self pity, during anger might be self pity. Ethier way its a form of outlit of releasal of negitive energy. I cry all the time and it feels good!!!
  • edited December 1969
    What is a proxy chain?
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    [Spam link removed. I was going to remove the post too, but Kyle's comment was too funny.]
  • edited December 1969
    Well, speaking of loneliness, you certainly put your post in the right thread.
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