I think about how the chapter talks about how if you want things one way, you must first do the opposite way. I find it important to remember that I cannot control this kind of process; it has to happen in it?s own time. In any ?undesirable? part of my life, who knows how long I might keep pursuing that particular desire, before I truly let go and no longer desire that activity.
I find myself observing the myriad desires going on, and often feel powerless to let go of that desire while it?s actually happening. And I mean truly letting go, not simply saying no to the satisfaction of the desire. For example, if I desire a chocolate bar, but tell myself no, that?s not really letting go of the desire. That?s simply not taking action to satisfy it, but the desire is still there.
I also find myself emotionally wishing I could control the setting up and laying aside of desires for those I love. Especially with my 9 year old daughter. I see the desires she pursues, and wish that I could help her through the frustrations of whatever the situation is. But it?s always easier to identify a process in someone else, and have ?advice?, than to squarely look at the dynamics happening in my own life.
Carl?s comments about having to experience things ourselves, rather than as ideas someone tells us about, really rings true for me. These days I see that what I ?know?, what little wisdom I have, has come from the many experiences in my life. Experiences that have sunk in at the ?cellular? level, not at the intellectual level. I can?t pick out some experiences as worthwhile, and some not; they all come together to make me who I am. Which is perhaps why I?ve always shied away from religions or spiritual pursuits that have a well-defined route you should follow to find peace, contentment, whatever. I don?t think we can just pick up a spiritual syllabus, follow specific steps ABC, and there we are in ?enlightenment?, or whatever the goal is.